Friday, October 24, 2008

Punch Man, Pee and Prostitutes

So for months now Ashley has been going on and on about "punchman". She tells us how she loves him, how she wants punchman for Christmas. She tells us these fantastic stories about how strong punchman is. All these months Kris and I have been looking at each other whenever punchman is mentioned wondering what the heck she is talking about and slightly worrying that we have a delusional 4 year old. At one point, Kris wondered whether Ashley had made an alterego for him. (Ok, I'm lying about that. But Kris does consider himself to be some kind of strong hero.) Then the toysrus catolog came in the mail. Shall I introduce you to punchman?

She is telling me now that I had better never be mean to punch man or he will hit me. Now, let me say, I have not let my children watch the incredible hulk. I don't think the violence would be a good thing in our house. I can just see Hunter thinking he is punchman. He already thinks his hands are swords. She must have seen it on a commercial or something.
So you're probably wondering why I mentioned pee. The other day Hunter told me he had peed in his diaper. He brought me a new diaper. He kept saying, "I pee mommy". I thought he meant he had already peed seeing as how he had brought me a new diaper. So I undo his diaper and am leaning all the way over him only to hear him gleefully say "I pee now mommy" and then he peed all over my face, my hair, my shirt. I have had more bodily fluids lobbed in my direction from this boy than the girls put together.
And if you weren't wondering about the pee, you're definitely wondering why I mentioned prostitutes. That's because apparently, it was my word of the evening at enrichment night (LDS relief society activity) last week. Not that I was talking about actual prostitutes. I was actually telling a very funny story about my mom. Hmmm, not that she was a prostitute either. When we lived in Venezuela we came back to the states and my mom did some bulk shopping for things she either couldn't or wouldn't buy in South America. When she was going through the checkout she had her mom and either 4 or 5 of her children with her. She also had an extremely large supply of condoms. (How many would you buy if you need at least a one year supply or possibly a two year supply?) I was simply relating the story how she tells it. The checker looked at her, at her mom and at us kids and my mom was sure he thought she was a prostitute and was finally wising up to safe sex. Now, somehow through the evening, I mentioned prostitutes at one other point. You see, I have issues with silence. I tend to blurt out whatever is in my head if it's awkwardly silent. This is normally ok as most people I spend time with are not only used to it, but find it amusing. Except somehow, some people seemed to find me extremely strange sitting at enrichment night talking about prostitutes. And Shannon was sitting right next to me laughing her head off the whole time. I told her afterward she should have kicked me but she wisely said, "that probably would have made you say even worse things".
Does life get any better than punchman, pee and prostitutes?

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Computers, conference, and callings

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that I've slacked off on the blogging thing. That I only managed to post twice before giving up. Well, you're wrong. Our *&$#@ (that means stupid) computer quit working. Despite Kris' insistence that I must have done something to the computer we found out that hard drives don't really last all that long. So the hard drive, along with everything on it, was fried. And being the idiot I am, nothing was backed up. That means the last 3 years of pictures I took with my digital camera are gone. But alas, we have a new computer and I will back it up.

So what a wonderful conference. Is it that conference really truly gets better every year or do I somehow manage to be more receptive? After such a wonderful conference, we had the opportunity to basically get our own personal general conference. Elder Pino of the first quorum of the seventy is a good friend of my parents. He was my Bishop in Caracas, Venezuela when I was a wee little primary kiddo. My dad served as his counselor and my mom was the primary pres with Sister Pino as her first counselor. Elder Pino and his wife and their son and his wife came over to my parents house for dinner after the final session of conference. Very little English was spoken and I found myself repeatedly chastising myself for losing pretty much all my Spanish speaking ability. Fortunately I could still understand most of it. Elder Pino asked my sweet (but struggling) 19 year old brother to share his testimony. After that, Elder Pino shared his testimony. He also gave both me and my brother and my parents some counsel. I have yet to endure anything more powerful than sitting face to face with a general authority while he testifies that he is a witness for Christ. It was a wonderful experience. His kind words to my parents were much needed and appreciated. Reflecting on the whole experience makes me remember Elder Bednar's first talk after being sustained as a member of the quorum of twelve when he spoke of tender mercies. Interestingly enough, I can see that being applicable to conference. Conference seemed like a big hug of tender mercies.


So after over 5 years in young women's I've been released. I think I'm finally over the heartbreak. I knew it was coming but it still was hard. YW's is one of those callings that really consumes a chunk of your life but you love it. And you know, it's a trade off. Kris has been in the Elder's Quorum pres almost as long as I was in YW. He was definitely getting a little burned out. And I know our callings weren't as demanding as many many others, but those two things combined together and it seems like we were very busy the last five years. I'm grateful for the things we learned and the experiences we've had. I'm definitely happy he was released. As for me, well, I'm getting there. It does feel slightly like I must be moving backwards. For starters, I think I've gone to relief society as a married woman for a grand total of one year. Early in our marriage we were sunbeam teachers. Then we moved up here and I was put in YW. But now I'm back in Sunbeams. When Ashley heard we were going to be her teachers she told me, "Mom, I really like the Whitesides. So how about if they stay and dad can come, but you just go back to young womens." It's going to be an adjustment. The sappy grins of 3 year olds are pretty good payment but I still need to adjust. Can someone please advise me on how to teach "I can be kind to animals" after teaching "The Law of Consecration"?

So I think that's all for today. This was a fairly serious post. My apologies to the light hearted out there. I've heard whispers in the wind that the spirit bear might make a come back at some point in the near future....