Friday, October 24, 2008

Punch Man, Pee and Prostitutes

So for months now Ashley has been going on and on about "punchman". She tells us how she loves him, how she wants punchman for Christmas. She tells us these fantastic stories about how strong punchman is. All these months Kris and I have been looking at each other whenever punchman is mentioned wondering what the heck she is talking about and slightly worrying that we have a delusional 4 year old. At one point, Kris wondered whether Ashley had made an alterego for him. (Ok, I'm lying about that. But Kris does consider himself to be some kind of strong hero.) Then the toysrus catolog came in the mail. Shall I introduce you to punchman?

She is telling me now that I had better never be mean to punch man or he will hit me. Now, let me say, I have not let my children watch the incredible hulk. I don't think the violence would be a good thing in our house. I can just see Hunter thinking he is punchman. He already thinks his hands are swords. She must have seen it on a commercial or something.
So you're probably wondering why I mentioned pee. The other day Hunter told me he had peed in his diaper. He brought me a new diaper. He kept saying, "I pee mommy". I thought he meant he had already peed seeing as how he had brought me a new diaper. So I undo his diaper and am leaning all the way over him only to hear him gleefully say "I pee now mommy" and then he peed all over my face, my hair, my shirt. I have had more bodily fluids lobbed in my direction from this boy than the girls put together.
And if you weren't wondering about the pee, you're definitely wondering why I mentioned prostitutes. That's because apparently, it was my word of the evening at enrichment night (LDS relief society activity) last week. Not that I was talking about actual prostitutes. I was actually telling a very funny story about my mom. Hmmm, not that she was a prostitute either. When we lived in Venezuela we came back to the states and my mom did some bulk shopping for things she either couldn't or wouldn't buy in South America. When she was going through the checkout she had her mom and either 4 or 5 of her children with her. She also had an extremely large supply of condoms. (How many would you buy if you need at least a one year supply or possibly a two year supply?) I was simply relating the story how she tells it. The checker looked at her, at her mom and at us kids and my mom was sure he thought she was a prostitute and was finally wising up to safe sex. Now, somehow through the evening, I mentioned prostitutes at one other point. You see, I have issues with silence. I tend to blurt out whatever is in my head if it's awkwardly silent. This is normally ok as most people I spend time with are not only used to it, but find it amusing. Except somehow, some people seemed to find me extremely strange sitting at enrichment night talking about prostitutes. And Shannon was sitting right next to me laughing her head off the whole time. I told her afterward she should have kicked me but she wisely said, "that probably would have made you say even worse things".
Does life get any better than punchman, pee and prostitutes?

1 comment:

Misty said...

okay, you are a side-splitter. i was dying. i didn't think you were weird at enrichment - entertaining and refreshing. it definitely wasn't boring! i laughed so hard at the pee thing - sorry it was at your expense, but seriously funny. mackenna has a similar obsession with spider man. she always says she is going to marry him. she HAS seen parts of that, though. ashley has probably just seen it on commercials or something. oh, and mackenna's new favorite movie is transformers.